It has nothing to do with me.
Ceaseless stares followed Jake’s retreating back as he made his way down the school hallway. The bustling students froze upon his appearance while whispers hissed at his exit. He pushed past the collecting groups of gossipers towards his next class when a familiar boy stepped into his path.
“Hey, man,” he said, his hand rubbing the back of his head.
“Hey, Brian,” Jake greeted with a nervous laugh. “You got Math next?”
“No,” he replied, shaking his head. “Just, umm… Just wanted to see if you were going to go… Saturday?”
“Saturday?”
“For Maggie?”
“Oh.” Jake blinked. “Naw, man.”
“You sure about that?” His face scrunched in apprehension.
“It’s not like I had any hand in it,” Jake said, throwing his hands up. “It was her choice, Brian.”
“You need to reconsider this,” Brian said, stepping closer. “That’s messed up.”
“You said it yourself. She was unhinged to begin with.” Shoving past his friend, Jake felt a hand pull his arm back.
“Hey!” Brian shouted. Aware of the added attention, he lowered his voice. “You can’t hide from this.”
“I’m not hiding from anything.” Yanking his arm back, Jake entered his classroom. He flopped down into his seat after slamming his book bag onto the floor. Whispers echoed around the room like a symphony of ridicule and judgment. To avoid the blatant comments, he slouched onto the desk and rested on his shaking hands. This is not my fault! It’s hers! She pursued me!
So preoccupied, the math lesson started without his notice. He scoffed at the lines of numbers and symbols the teacher inscribed on the board before turning his attention to doodling in his notebook.
What’s the point anyways? I’m Jake Alan. Star quarterback.
Scholarships poured in like water and with that, his school legend. They all wanted a piece of his glory for themselves, so why not spread it? Girls, party invites; Everything dangled for him and was disposable to him. A date with Jake Alan shot any girl into the stratosphere of every social circle so they all wanted him. When they became boring, a replacement fell into his lap; easy. Someone hotter with a tighter body and bigger tits lurked around every corner, drooling for him despite his well known reputation.
She should’ve known that. Why didn’t she know? Despite the lecture, the pressure of everyone’s gaze ate at his mind, spinning it down the path of his past. Her past. Maggie.
Cute enough to not drag down his rank with her bleach blond hair, pale skin and bone thin body, Jake decided to chat her up thinking he might get a quick ‘wham bam’ out of it. However, she didn’t take the bait at first. After that, she appeared at every party, kick back, and pep rally; staring at him. Thinking that she changed her mind, he approached her again. Either way, she couldn’t say no forever, right? Total charity case, but he could have some fun. After a decent first night, he hooked up with her periodically along with his continuous list of conquests.
Why would I limit myself?
This past weekend, she caught Jake making out with another girl during a drinking party and freaked out. She dragged him outside and started yelling about him cheating on her. When he denied ever dating her, she left. Deciding it was the decent thing to do, Jake called her to explain things, but her phone went to voicemail immediately. In his message, he gave her The Speech. The same one he gave to all the girls he messed around with out of courtesy.
What more did she want?
Monday came and the whispers and looks began.
“It’s his fault she did it.”
“He drove her to it.”
“See how he treats everyone.”
Over and over, people whispered behind his back. Assuming she used her new found popularity to spread rumors, he ignored it. The day passed full of head shakes, flip offs and cursing before anyone approached him. Brian stepped up with what happened. She took a razor to her wrists the night Jake fought with her and didn’t make it. According to her friends, she had her phone in her hand with his message paused on replay.
Why am I to blame? I helped her.
Class ended a grueling forty-five minutes later. Jake grabbed his bag and stomped out of the classroom, only to run into a group of girls talking by the door..
“Dammit! You mind not standing in the way,” he said angrily.
“What? In a hurry to ruin another life?” one girl said, stepping up to him.
Realizing instantly what she meant, his anger overflowed. “I didn’t do anything! She’s the one that chased after me! She just wanted a piece of the action like everyone else!”
“Really? Listen to yourself! It’s all about you, isn’t it?” the second girl countered.
“Yeah, you couldn’t really care less, could you?” the last girl said.
“It’s just so easy for you, huh? Go out with a girl and just throw her away like a piece of trash!” the first girl yelled.
“Ever stopped to think about her family?! Her parents or her little brother?” The third girl shoved his shoulder.
“Of course not! He’s too busy thinking about where he’s gonna put it next!” the first girl replied.
“Sick jerk!” the second girl said.
“We’ll make sure no one gets sucked into your BS again.” The first girl nearly touched noses with him, she came so close to his face.
“Yeah! Whatever! I don’t need you bitches anyways,” he said through his teeth as he shoved past them, ignoring their berating retorts.
Breath heaved through his chest, like fire through the veins of a volcano; burning up every last shred of resolve he had left. Like shattering a stained glass window, Jake realized that the greatest pain he ever inflicted, became the easiest thing he ever did.
Maggie… is gone. Forever.
